We know a Canadian is someone who likes coffee, beer, doughnuts, maple syrup, hockey and beavers in moderation. And often talks about such things. So, it struck me that with many new Canadians coming our way from war-ravaged countries, now might be a good time to look at what makes a Canadian.
For example, we know we like to brag about wind chill and whiteouts. Snow tires often get into the conversation, although I suspect the No. 1 topic as we grow old is wait times for hip replacements. Although, standing around emergency rooms also is the mark of a real Canadian.
And if you are new to the country, you will fit in as you stand in line eating your doughnut and muttering about how the wind chill affects your snow tires.
Or you can talk about food. You will have noticed that outside of the big cities (as we call them), there are not many choices. You may well think Canadians exist on egg salad sandwiches on white sliced bread. But if you go into the near North, you will find that some Canadians pick up a gun and an orange vest and trek into the woods in search of deer and moose. And they eat what they hunt.
This might be a bit of a chore if you are a newcomer, but do not be disheartened. Canada is rife with fish. (Awash with fish, I should say.) Across the road from my non-big city is a small woods through which there runs a small stream and, in the spring, that stream is full of fish heading upstream to spawn. You can easily scoop out one or two with a net. Doing so is probably against the law; but then, so is hunger.
Should you want bigger game, I know a pond that is packed with 20-pound carp. So many that you could leap in there and scoop them out with your paw. I have not actually done this, but I did hit one on the back.
Canadians are fond of the outdoors, although this is often more talking than actually carrying your canoe over a portage in Algonquin Park. For example, we are keen on hockey and love to talk about how we played the game on natural ice rinks at minus 30°C in Regina. But, now, when our children and grandchildren play the game, they are found on artificial ice in heated arenas and wearing $1,000 worth of equipment. In the depth of winter (which is not as deep as in days of yore), you will find that we ski and snowmobile and that, once again, we are talking thousands of dollars.
But there is a great deal of money in Canada, and immigrants have much of it. But so do long-established Canadians whose families may have been here for a couple of centuries. These citizens have money, and they keep a firm grip on it.
Should you wish to see one of these fine old families, it is best to wait for summer because they swarm in the outlying islands of Georgian Bay, where these people revel in coal-oil lanterns and outdoor plumbing. And, yes, they eat egg salad sandwiches on white sliced bread.
(I know this, not because I come from such a family, but because my ancestors were maids and housemen for such people.)
Finally, of course, you may wish to know something of the rulers of Canada, and you will find a selection pictured on some of our currency. Queen Elizabeth II doesn’t count up there on the $20 bill, but Sir John A. Macdonald does – and you will find him on the $10 bill.
Macdonald was an immigrant, and he pulled himself up by his bootstraps (now in short supply) and got the country well launched. I opened the standard biography of his life searching for a quote to inspire, but I just found examples of him prying spare change out of the Canadian Pacific Railway.
The one pithy quote I uncovered was, “vamoose from this ranch.” Which actually is not so bad. Macdonald also drank to some extent – and not maple syrup.
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