The federal government has introduced a new guide to citizenship, full of history and heroes and accomplishments and even Canadian dark deeds. But if you are searching for a little more depth and detail, try my own personal guide to our Canadian past.

Take Sir John A. Macdonald, who ranks with Pierre Trudeau as our most colourful prime minister. The quote that I recall from Sir John A. comes from his many days as a drinker. When awakened one morning by a member of the household in which Macdonald was a guest, he said: “Vamoose from this ranch.” Not bad.

More colourful was he than the clutch of Tories who held the office after his death. There was the unlikely Mackenzie Bowell, who succeeded Sir John Sparrow Thompson. This Sir John died on a trip to Windsor Castle and, you could almost say, he passed away in the arms of Queen Victoria. Almost.

The definitive word on PMs goes to the sweet singer of Saskatchewan, Thomas Clement Douglas, as cited by John Robert Colombo: “Mackenzie King proved that you can be prime minister as long as you want. Diefenbaker demonstrated that anyone can be a prime minister. Pearson showed that we don’t need a prime minister. And from Trudeau, we learned that we’d be better off without a prime minister.” Not bad.

Canada has had some lively premiers other than T.C. Douglas. There was Amor De Cosmos, who headed British Columbia from 1872 to 1874. His birth name was Smith. There was Bible Bill Aberhart, premier of Alberta from 1935 to 1943 and founder of the Social Credit movement in Canada. He introduced $25 prosperity certificates to be handed out to Albertans to fight the Depression. They were called “funny money” and the courts eventually decided they were outside the powers of the province.

And you can’t talk about odd premiers without going to another figure from the 1930s, Ontario Liberal Mitchell Hepburn. He was an onion farmer and, one day, while campaigning in the country, he stopped at a farmyard to speak to a group of farmers.

To be better seen and heard, Hepburn climbed up on a handy manure spreader. Recognizing a good line when one appeared under his feet, he said: “This is the first time I’ve ever spoken from a Tory platform.”

But he was topped when the ensuing laughter died down and a farmer called out: “Throw her in high gear, Mitch, she’ll never carry a riper load.” Not bad.

If you seek Canadian natural wonders there is always North Dancer, winner of the Kentucky Derby and famous stander at stud, who always gets a mention when Canadian sporting figures are discussed.

Another natural wonder has to be Niagara Falls, which supplied a great line to the visiting Oscar Wilde: “Niagara Falls must be the second major disappointment of married life.”

And if you are looking for disappointment, you might give a thought to Canadian cuisine. Sure, there is cod tongue and seal flipper and fiddleheads and salmon; but, when you come right down to it, you have a pot of maple syrup in one hand and a bowl of pemmican in the other. Pemmican? It fed the fur traders, and was meat pounded with fat and berries and carried on your voyage.

I don’t want to give manufacturing a miss, so take a moment to think of the Briscoe and the Chatham. The former was a car made early last century in Brockville, Ont. The Chatham came from the same era and was made, not surprisingly, in Chatham, Ont.

For dark deeds, we have Ambrose Small. On Dec. 2, 1909, he received a million-dollar cheque as down payment for his string of theatres. He handed the money to his wife Theresa to deposit in the bank, and then he stepped out of the pages of history. The most famous Canadian vanishing act.

For years, he was sought — every time there was an unidentified corpse, Ambrose was in the headlines. But it was never him.

On a personal note, Theresa was my mother’s aunt; she left Mom a legacy that never made it past the lawyers. My mother inherited an oil painting of dubious value, an ornate vase that we sold at auction for $400 and a little silver bell mounted on a marble base. Theresa used it to summon her maid. I still have it; but when I ring, no one comes. IE