Did the wind howl
like a soul in torment? Did the trees snap like matchsticks? Was the hail the size of golf balls? These are all good questions. We’ve come through a summer packed with storms, and sometimes we don’t know how to describe it all.

In response, I’ve put together a handy little quiz to help you paint a weather picture of the months that have just passed:

1. Hail was the size of: (a) golf balls; (b) mothballs; or (c) basketballs.

2. The sky turned: (a) black; (b) bilious yellow; or (c) puce.

3. The wind howled like: (a) a wolf; (b) a banshee; or (c) a soul in torment.

4. The impact of the storm was like: (a) a bomb; (b) an atomic bomb; or (c) Dante’s Inferno?

5. Trees snapped like: (a) matchsticks; (b) toothpicks; or (c) ice picks.

6. The rain roared in like: (a) a wall of water; (b) a curtain of destruction; or (c) a combine harvester.

7. The lightning: (a) danced across the lake; (b) slammed into the ground; or (c) lit up the sky.

8. The thunder was as loud as: (a) an express train; (b) a soul in torment; or (c) an atomic bomb.

9. When it was all over, the ground was strewn with: (a) debris; (b) detritus; or (c) matchsticks?

10. This is the last time that I will: (a) set up my tent in a dry stream bed; (b) park my RV on top of a windy hill; or (c) seek shelter under a tall tree.

Here are the correct answers:

1. Hail is always the size of (a) golf balls. Mothballs aren’t even worth thinking about. And if the hail was the size of basketballs, you wouldn’t still be around to comment.

2. The sky can either turn (a) black, or (b) bilious yellow. It might also turn (c) puce, but no one really knows what colour that is.

3. It’s always best to go with (c) a soul in torment, although I don’t think there are any verified reports of what that sounds like. Choice (b) a banshee is a bit old fashioned. As for choice (a) a wolf, well, the howl of a wolf is wonderfully evocative — unless you are out by yourself in the woods at night.

4. It’s best to say that the impact of the storm was like (a) a bomb. Most of us have no concept of (b) an atomic bomb. As for (c) Dante’s Inferno, how many people have actually read it?

5. The easy answer is (a) matchsticks, although in this age of non-smoking they are a scarce commodity. So, you could always fall back on (b) toothpicks. As for (c) ice picks, ice picks don’t snap like trees do.

6. There are two correct answers — the rain roared in like: (a) a wall of water is always acceptable; and (b) a curtain of destruction has its adherents. Answer (c) a combine harvester has a certain charm, but you don’t see many combine harvesters roaring across the lake.

7. Here you can have either (b) slammed into the ground, or (c) lit up the sky. As for (a), lightning doesn’t dance.

8. Tough to know the right answer here. If you have a religious streak you might like to go with (b) a soul in torment, although you might want to make it plural. As for (c) an atomic bomb, once again most of us, luckily, don’t know what that would be. Personally, I favour (a) an express train, but it’s only oldsters who can remember what that sounds like.

9. Go with (a) debris — it’s short, sweet and messy; (b) detritus might also be valid, but I would have to look up the exact meaning. And (c) matchsticks can only be used if a match factory was somehow involved.

10. This one is a cinch — all the answers are correct. If you did any of those things before a storm, you surely wouldn’t want to do them again. IE