Dale Carnegie’s classic tome, How to Win Friends and Influence People, originally published in 1937, has been required reading for anyone in the business world for decades. Carnegie’s earnest appeal for civility and good listening skills when dealing with others, particularly business associates, is downright charming when viewed against today’s more boisterous and narcissistic self-help bookshelf.
Reading or rereading this 75-year-old book is as worthwhile today as it ever was, says George Hartman, president and CEO of Market Logics Inc. in Toronto: “You would hope, over time, that these principles are ingrained. But it doesn’t hurt to be reminded every once in a while.”
Hartman, who had read the book 40 years ago when he was starting out as a life insurance agent, has skimmed through the book recently and finds it relevant for anyone intent on improving interpersonal skills — especially financial advisors. “There are universal truths that are expressed differently today in some cases,” Hartman says, “but they are fundamentally the same.”
For example, Carnegie emphasizes the importance of listening skills and finding out what motivates and interests others. “These are all fundamentals for good relationships,” Hartman says, “particularly in the role of the advisor.”
There are direct parallels to the way most advisors do business today. Values-based financial planning is all about understanding what’s important to your client; and the only way to acquire that knowledge is by listening and trying to understand what motivates your client.
The book is laid out in four parts, with step-by-step techniques and tips on winning individuals over to your way of thinking — without causing offence. The book also is rich with anecdotes. In Carnegie’s world, there is no problem so great, no conflict so intractable that “a drop of honey,” some good manners and a smile cannot solve.
Have a client who refuses to pay the agreed-upon price for your services? Don’t take him to court; just show him some common courtesy, take the time to see things from his point of view and the conflict will melt away. What about that lazy and incompetent janitor (or receptionist)? Merely impress upon him how valuable his work is to the firm’s image and reputation, and he will take to his job with a spring in his step.
Carnegie describes a violent 1915 labour dispute at the Colorado Fuel and Iron Co., which co-owner John D. Rockefeller solved by making friends with some of the workers and giving a single speech “in such a friendly manner that the strikers went back to work without saying another word about the increase in wages for which they had fought so violently.”
Such anecdotes stand in sharp contrast to today’s tendency to celebrate the more brash business styles of Steve Jobs or Donald Trump. And while Carnegie’s diplomatic approach to dispute resolution may seem quaint, Hartman says, many of his book’s lessons are particularly potent for advisors.
For instance, the section on winning people over to your way of thinking points out that the only way to “win” an argument is to avoid it. This concept has long been taught in sales training, Hartman says, by anticipating a client’s objections, then raising those objections before the client does: “It’s taking the principle of avoiding the argument by dealing with it on a problem-solving level rather than on a contentious or adversarial level.”
Hartman has taken — and delivered — numerous courses designed to build relationships and sales. He even took a Dale Carnegie public speaking course. “[These courses and programs],” Hartman says, “really are founded on the principles espoused in Carnegie’s book.” IE