Questions that transform conversations

– Do you mind if I take notes?

Good advisors are great listeners. But it’s not enough just to listen; clients also have to know that you’re listening. While asking the right questions is important, it’s how you respond to the answers that truly determines the success of a conversation.

When you talk to people, the first key is to have them feel that you’re truly focused on what they have to say. There are lots of ways to convey that you’re actively listening – maintaining eye contact, nodding, interjecting with words such as “I see.”

But few phrases are more effective than saying, “Do you mind if I take notes?” Asking if you can take notes conveys that you think that your client is saying something important and that your first priority is understanding and remembering what those people said.

The trick is to take notes without losing eye contact, so you need to get in the habit of jotting down key points, then re-establishing eye contact. The other time to make a note is when you hear something that you want to return to and respond to. When that happens, write down a couple of words and circle them. That way, you don’t have to worry about remembering a key point that you want to pick up on, and you can concentrate on what you’re hearing and give your client or prospect your full attention.

– So, what I heard you say is…?

This second question comes after your client has said everything he or she wanted to say. How do you know that’s happened? Simply leave three seconds of silence – when someone finishes speaking, count to yourself slowly to three. If your client hasn’t resumed talking, chances are he or she has finished expressing his or her thought.

At that point, you use the second question – “So, what I heard you say is…?” and you briefly recap what you’ve heard, concluding with “Did I miss anything?”

There are two advantages to saying this. First, if your client forgot to make a point, this gives him or her another chance to make it. And, second, by playing back what your client said, you demonstrate that you were really listening to what he or she to say.

– Based on what I heard you say…

This third question comes before you present recommendations in response to what you heard. All good advisors tailor recommendations to clients’ needs. But, as with listening, it’s not enough to tailor your proposal; clients have to know that the recommendation you’re presenting has been developed specifically to address their situation.

So, after you have heard your client or prospect out and verified that you truly understand his or her situation, consider using these words to segue to your proposal: “Based on what I heard you say…” or “Based on your situation, here’s what I recommend.”

In a perfect world, there will be some separation in time from when you discuss a client’s situation to when you come back with recommendations rather than doing so in the same meeting. That gap in time conveys that you have given the matter some thought, reflected on the client’s situation and considered alternatives before formulating your proposals.

This strategy is along the lines of a conversation I had with a tax partner at one of the Big Four accounting firms, who told me: “Even for the most basic matter, we never give advice in the initial meeting when we sit down with a prospective client. Even if there’s time pressure and we have to schedule a followup meeting for later that day or the next morning, our view is that clients looking for advice on the spot can go to H&R Block. If you come to us, you are going to get advice that is well thought through and considered.”

Assuming the client meeting at which you’re reviewing recommendations is a followup to a previous meeting, you could set up your recommendations by saying: “When we spoke last, you told me that…. Did I miss anything or get anything wrong?”

Assuming that clients confirm that, indeed, you didn’t miss anything and you got everything right, you then introduce your recommendation with the words: “Based on what you told me, here’s what I suggest we talk about today.”

– Let me jot down my cell number.

In today’s connected world, more and more advisors have their mobile number listed in the contact info beneath their emails, on their website and printed on their business cards.

But at a recent conference in the U.S., I talked to one advisor who approaches this concept differently. When clients first sign on, he gives them his business card at the end of the initial meeting, then says: “Normally, clients prefer to talk to me during business hours. But should there ever be anything pressing, don’t hesitate to call me. Let me jot down my cell number should you ever want to reach me outside of normal business hours.” And with that, he writes down his mobile number on his card.

This advisor gets a good response universally. In his view, doing this transforms the client’s perception of this action into something the advisor does especially for that client rather than something that the advisor does for every client. This advisor says that months will pass between calls to his mobile phone from clients – whether because clients have lost the card or they are used to calling him at his office.

This strategy provides a good return at low cost, in terms of disruption.

– Could I ask for your opinion?

The final question relates to asking clients for advice. An article in Entrepreneur Magazine described research from academics at Harvard Business School and the Wharton School into what happens when you ask for advice. People hesitate to ask for advice out of fear that doing so will make them appear weak or incompetent.

In fact, the opposite happens. Provided that you ask in the right way and on the right topic, asking for advice creates goodwill with the recipient of the request, who is flattered and views you asking for advice in a more positive light as a result.

The lead researcher was Alison Wood Brooks of Harvard. In an interview she provided some additional perspective:

– We’ve all had the experience of being asked for advice and felt good as a result. Yet, when the opportunity to ask for advice comes up, we forget about how positive it feels to be asked for our opinion. Brooks describes this as a “broken mental model,” in which our instinct when asking for advice is inconsistent with our response when asked for advice.

– Asking for advice works best on a topic that is difficult and on which the person being asked views him- or herself as an expert.

– Brooks does provide some words of caution: asking for advice on a topic that is very easy will reduce your credibility; you need to be selective about asking for advice. Finally, you need to stay away from anything that sounds like a sales pitch such as, for example, asking for advice on how you can connect with other members of your client’s regular golf foursome.

Most advisors focus on the substance of their advice. And providing the right recommendations certainly is critical. But just providing good advice isn’t sufficient; you have to ensure that clients and prospects buy into that advice.

By taking small steps to make your clients feel valued, you will increase your chances of getting buy-in to your advice.

Dan Richards is CEO of Clientinsights (www.clientinsights.ca) in Toronto. For more of Dan’s columns and informative videos, visit www.investmentexecutive.com.

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