It may be the largest group of greying romantics in history. At least a third of boomers are single and many are taking a second or third run at love and marriage.
These middle-aged lovebirds differ markedly from previous generations. Many of the well-off, for instance, are women. Often, they are more active than their mothers and they may be more adventurous about the pursuit of new partners, often choosing younger, less-affluent mates. In general, these women are looking for more sophisticated financial advice.
Blended families are also becoming more common among both men and women, creating potentially far-reaching consequences when it comes to the division of property and liability for support.
Whatever the pitfalls, however, single boomers are clearly on the prowl. A 2006 survey by the American Association of Retired Persons found that about 70% of single boomers dated regularly, meeting partners both on and offline.
“Boomers are not constrained by age limits,” notes Lina Ko, who heads a division at National Public Relations in Toronto that helps marketers target the boomer generation. “Those who are single are looking for companionship.”
Web-based dating services are finding gold in the silver singles’ market. In June, Lavalife Corp. , owner of the widely popular LavaLife online dating site, launched a sister site, lava-
lifePRIME (www.prime.lavalife.com), geared to the 45-plus group. Says Agneta Owen, the company’s boomer lifestyle and branding expert in Toronto: “Our research showed this group has special needs not being addressed by the original site.”
Meanwhile, Canada’s Associ-ation for the 50 Plus (CARP) , launched 50Plus Relationships (www.50plusrelationships.com) in February 2006. The site offers several thousand profiles of members over 40, with a high concentration in their 60s and 70s.
Yet this new love will not necessarily lead to marriage. “Many boomers have already been there, done that. And reproduction no longer enters the equation,” Ko observes. “And many boomer women are financially independent and don’t need husbands to support them. That’s part of the reason for the high divorce rate. Women no longer have to tough out a bad marriage.”
But if marriage or a live-in relationship does result, there are issues an advisor should raise. “Older people may bring substantial assets into the relationship,” says Robert Henderson, a 61-year-old retirement planner with Partners in Planning Financial Services in Chilliwack, B.C. “But if assets unravel, there isn’t much time left to recover.”
The downside of that scenario can be dramatic. “I see it all the time: a woman with a house and a nice nest egg falls for a man with a truck and payments,” says Henderson, who met his girlfriend, Leri, through a personals ad in The Georgia Straight. “I tell clients they need to get sensible: ‘I know he’s wonderful and it’s pure magic, but let’s look at the two bank accounts, the prenuptial agreements and the wills.’ And, I tell them: ‘You’re marrying his family, too.’”
Erika Penner, a financial planner in Richmond, B.C., addresses the financial implications as soon as she learns of a client’s new relationship. “It’s really important that the client discuss these issues early on with an independent party who can look at all the financial aspects of the situation,” she says. She suggests financial planners initiate a wide-ranging discussion with both parties. This involves disclosing the assets, debts and income of each person.
“And if a client says her partner doesn’t want to talk about finances,” she cautions, “I’ll ask if she thinks he’ll ever be ready.”
The discussion should also get the partners talking about what money means to each and what expectations they bring to the relationship. What are their dreams for the future? “What does retirement mean to each of them?” Penner says. “What one partner wants may come as a surprise to the other.”
As well, do the partners have different styles of handling money? “If they do,” Penner says, “I’d suggest more separate assets and a joint account for common expenses such as household costs and vacations. From a tax-planning perspective, it makes sense to mingle assets, perhaps putting money into a spousal RRSP,” she adds. “But if one partner brings more assets into the relationship, that person may want more control over them. That person may also want income from those assets to go to his or her kids.”
@page_break@While a client may feel that prenuptial or co-habitation agreements are not romantic, advisors should find ways to flag the need for such documents. Often, they can help avoid or minimize conflicts by specifying each party’s rights and obligations toward the other during the marriage or relationship. It can include full written disclosure of each partner’s assets, liabilities and income. And it can spell out consequences upon separation or divorce, such as ownership or division of property, as well as obligations to support a dependent spouse.
Drawing up these agreements is excellent for putting the cards on the table and getting the couple to discuss finances, Penner notes. But for married couples, she adds, “prenuptial agreements have less validity the longer the couple is in the marriage. Family law starts to take precedence.” In any case, co-habitation agreements should be reviewed every few years.
Relationships involving older partners often bring adult children and grandchildren into the mix. “Many people are experiencing boomerang kids,” Penner says. “Has your client thought about his or her new partner’s adult kids joining them down the road? What would the financial impact of this be? And what kind of strain would it put on your client’s relationship?”
There may also be a new set of elderly parents to consider. “Have your clients consider this and agree beforehand on what they will do if an elderly relative can no longer live alone,” she adds. “Does the new partner or the parent have enough money to take care of this? Or will your client be expected to pick up the bills? If the elderly person is moving into the couple’s home, a co-habitation agreement should be drawn up outlining the financial obligations of each party.”
Entering a relationship at mid-life or later also means that serious illness or death is more likely to befall one of the partners in the near future. “Is there insurance in place for long-term care?” Penner asks. “And how will your client or his or her partner deal emotionally with being alone again?”
A new partner also puts a new spin on estate planning. Many people are not aware that, in the absence of a will or domestic contract, assets intended for children may go to a new spouse.
“I suggest they talk to an estate lawyer early on,” Penner says. “If they co-mingle their assets, it may be difficult for a client to pass on to children what he or she brought into the relationship.”
If she thinks a client’s suitor might be a fortune hunter, Penner doesn’t prevaricate. “I try to be as blunt as possible,” she says. “I have a client who came out of a divorce very well financially. Her new partner requested money from her. I suggested a credit check on him to see if the financial information he gave about himself was correct.
“Boomers are less trusting of people than seniors,” she adds, “and many are financially sophisticated. But, when people are in love, common sense flies out the window.” IE
Grey romance can make for messy finances
Single boomers are rewriting the rules of new relationships; advisors need to be wary of the pitfalls
- By: Rosemary McCracken
- October 29, 2007 October 29, 2007
- 13:34