As the song says, breaking up is hard to do. When it comes to saying goodbye to a client, a little preparation and forethought can significantly reduce the difficulty — and possible fallout — for both the client and advisor.

The first step to severing ties with a client is assessing the need for dissolution. Is it really time to part company? Understanding why a relationship needs to end is the first critical step in ending it successfully.

“Lots of great people are terrible clients,” says Charles Ghadban, owner of management accounting and consulting firm Charles Ghadban Accounting in Ottawa. “They add stress to the plate.”

They can also hurt your business. “Some clients are naturally miserable,” says Stephen Wiseman, a partner with Taylor Leibow LLP, accountants and advisors in Hamilton, Ont. “They’re not happy and always disappointed with your work. A client like this can hurt your reputation.”

Steve Duck, a professor of communications at the University of Iowa, has developed a model that identifies the stages in the breakup of a relationship. The model has four stages. The first three occur before the axe falls.

First comes the “intrapsychic” phase, which involves mounting dissatisfaction and complaining about the relationship — but not to the other person in the relationship. That occurs in the next phase, the “dyadic” phase. Then comes the “social” phase, when the dissatisfaction extends beyond the two people involved to colleagues, partners, family members and others. At this point, the writing may be on the wall.

When the time comes to end the relationship, careful thought must be given to how to say goodbye.

The client is probably well aware that the relationship has been rocky. In fact, the client is probably as unhappy as you are. What will come as a shock, however, is actually getting the boot. The client will probably react emotionally, with anything from anger to sadness.

Managing that reaction well is crucial. Com-munications experts recommend that the more personal and significant the information you have to share, the more important it is to do this face to face. Advisors agree.

Clients need to hear the bad news directly from you, and they need to hear your tone of voice, says Wiseman. This will let them know that you are sincere and have their best interests at heart.

“When you have to dump a client, you have to let him or her down properly,” he says, adding that it’s best to visit the client on his or her turf. This helps make it more than a run-of-the-mill meeting and allows for a quick exit if necessary.

Ideally, things will go well if you’re prepared. Think through what questions and concerns the client will probably have, give him or her time to reflect and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. “Be diplomatic,” advises Ghadban. “Talk to them as people.”

It is also good to focus on the client’s needs. “Say: ‘I sense you’re not happy. We want you to be happy’,” Wiseman suggests. This opening gives the client time to acknowledge that things have not been great between the two of you.

Then offer to help. “You may not refer them to another professional,” he says. “But you may offer general suggestions and say you’ll transfer files and forward information.”

Not only does such a helpful approach reinforce your professionalism and value, it takes a weight off the client’s mind and puts the dissolution in a more positive light. Things are less likely to go downhill.

“It’s a lose/lose situation if you handle yourself in an undignified manner,” Wiseman adds. “There is no point in arguing. Say: ‘We can agree to disagree.’ Always end positively — to the extent you can.”

Ghadban recommends handing the client a letter — at the end of the face-to-face meeting — that summarizes the situation and restates your position. This will further explain the situation to the client and give that person something to refer to when the shock of being dumped dissipates.

This is the fourth and final step in Duck’s breakup model: the “grave-dressing” phase.

This is the phase in which his-tory is documented, the aim of which is to put yourself and, ideally, your client in the best light while making it clear that all was not well between you. It adds another level of finality to the breakup and helps to save face.

@page_break@It also helps legally to protect the advisor. Peter Mushkat, a faculty member at Dalhousie University Law School, recommends advi-sors not only provide the client with a letter upon ending the work relationship but also to keep notes of all meetings. Both practices will offer some protection if the client decides to take legal action. IE