Business dinners are a part of the fabric of business life. But navigating these events without committing a social faux pas can present a challenge to some advisors.

There are lots of situations in which you might feel awkward. For example, how long should you stay and chat with one group of people during cocktails when there is someone in another group to whom you really want to speak? How do you introduce yourself to the people across the table? What should you talk about with business acquaintances you have just met?

Preparation for the dinner should begin before you even get to the function, says Lew Bayer, co-founder of the Civility Group Inc. in Winnipeg. You should make a note of the dress code and dress appropriately.

“If it’s cocktails before dinner, don’t show up in a casual outfit,” she advises.

That means a suit for men and a day-length dress for women. (A good rule of thumb: when in doubt, err on the side of overdressing.)

If name tags are provided, as they often are, wear one. The name tag goes on the right-hand side of your jacket or dress. Studies suggest that when people shake hands properly their eyes automatically go to the right shoulder, as 90% of people shake with their right hands, Bayer says.

Cocktails before dinner give you a chance to network, so, if you want to leave a lasting impression, give the person or group you are talking to two full minutes of your time before moving on.

If there is someone in another group you want to speak to, ask to be excused, shake hands and move on.

“In business, the extra handshake makes a big difference,” Bayer says. “It tells people you are worth their time.”

Then approach the other group and call the person to whom you want to speak by name, even if you haven’t met him or her before. Say, “Excuse me, Bob Cummings?” and extend a hand. People will move physically and open the circle to let you in. But if you do not use a name, you won’t get any attention; people will not know whom you are addressing, Bayer says. Communication experts say that when we hear our name, we tend to focus more quickly, she adds.

At dinner, husbands and wives may sit together, especially if only one member of the couple knows people at the function, and the other would feel uncomfortable on his or her own.

“But if you have attended multiple events together — if you’ve worked for the company for years — it’s always nice to mix it up a bit,” Bayer says.

Sitting down to dinner with people you don’t know presents certain obligations: you have to introduce yourself and make conversation.

“If people are already seated, move around the table and introduce yourself and your spouse, if he or she is with you,” Bayer says. “And don’t reach across the table to shake hands.”

Start from the right and move counter-clockwise. Shake hands with everyone as you reach them, and make sure the handshake is firm.

“In business, gender and generation are not supposed to be an issue, so make your introductions as you meet people,” Bayer says.

If someone new joins the table, it’s a good idea for one person to stand and initiate the introductions. “People approaching a group are often nervous,” she says.

Now that you’ve been introduced, what to talk about? Should business be the only topic of conversation?

Because it’s a business function, people will want to hear about your business, Bayer says. But there are other topics you can talk about, too.

“We use a formula we call ‘FORE’,” Bayer says. “Family, occupation, recreation and education. Any of these topics are appropriate, but not for a long period and not to the exclusion of other guests.”

When food starts arriving, be sure to wait until everyone at the table has received their meal before you tuck in. If everyone else has their meal but yours is delayed because of a special request, tell your tablemates to “Please, go ahead.”

Bayer offers these additional tips to help you enjoy a business function like a seasoned socialite:

> Introductions. When you introduce your spouse, because it’s a business setting, say: “Mr. Jones, I’d like you to meet my wife, Maryanne” rather than “Maryanne this is Mr. Jones.”

@page_break@> Newcomers. If someone approaches the table to say hello and you are seated, stop chewing, put your glass down and visually acknowledge them. It’s not necessary to get up, but if you are the host it’s a nice gesture.

> Cellphones. Turn off your cellphone. If you are expecting a call from the babysitter, put the ringer on “vibrate.” If a call comes in, excuse yourself and make a quick, quiet exit. Take the call out of eyesight and earshot.

“Where you are going is nobody’s business, and when you return a verbal or visual acknowledgement is enough,” Bayer says. “There is no need to explain.”

> Speeches. Stop talking when someone is at the podium. It’s noisy, distracting to others and disrespectful.

> Stay Put. Don’t leave the table while the presentation is on, unless it’s an emergency. It’s disruptive. “If we agree to an hour of dinner with someone in a public situation, we are committed for that hour,” Bayer says.

> Special Requests. You may ask in advance about special dietary needs such as a vegetarian or vegan alternatives or food allergies. It’s best to take care of your special request in advance, such as when you accept the invitation. If you didn’t make arrangements for a special meal, it’s rude to cause a fuss at the table. Eat what you can and move on. A business dinner is not about the food.

> Don’t Be A Card Shark. Avoid handing out business cards across the table. Exchange them on the exit handshake. “Don’t dole out cards like a blackjack dealer,” Bayer says.

After the event, send a hand-written thank-you card with a comment, especially if you didn’t get a chance to see the host the or people from the organizing committee.

Says Bayer: “It’s a good way to represent yourself and your company, and to put the company in a positive light.” IE