Dennis auger was shocked when, in the fall of 2003, at the age of 56, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Now, two years after successful surgery, he describes dealing with cancer as a “brutal experience,” but acknowledges that, to his surprise, it was also one of the best things that ever happened to him.

“Through various support groups, I met so many kind and caring people who had been struck by cancer or whose lives had been touched by someone else’s cancer,” says Auger, an independent life insurance broker in Moose Jaw, Sask. “Someone who hasn’t been there simply doesn’t have the same sensitivity. To have a person to call when I needed a shoulder to lean on was a great comfort.”

After his recovery, Auger felt a need to offer compassionate support to others suffering from the physical and emotional pain of cancer. He got involved in the Us Too prostate cancer support group in Moose Jaw and CancerConnection (www.cancerconnection.org), a national service sponsored by the Canadian Cancer Society that facilitates connections between cancer survivors and those struggling with the disease. Within a month of signing up, he had a “match,” and since then has had another six relationships with prostate cancer victims.

“As a volunteer, the key skill is to listen when we’re talking to someone,” he says. “We may have the urge to tell our own stories, but we follow the other person’s lead and allow them to talk about their feelings. Then we may share parts of our own experience. It’s not about telling people what to do when it comes to treatment options; it’s about letting people know you’re there for them, and that they can call when they need you.”

Before potential candidates are accepted as CancerConnection volunteers, they must supply two references and complete a weekend training program.

“We’re looking for compassionate people who can offer empathy without becoming too emotional,” says Laura Hubenig, a CancerConnection co-ordinator in Regina. “We don’t want people breaking down over the phone when they run into sad situations.”

Volunteers may be matched with cancer victims anywhere in Canada. They introduce themselves on a first-name basis over the phone; it’s up to the individuals whether they want to share more information and identify themselves by their full names. Volunteers must be cancer-free for one year before they are accepted into the program.

“At times, having cancer was a terrible ordeal — particularly when I was waiting for the results of tests to see if the cancer had spread,” Auger says. “People were there for me. And I now want to be there for others.

“The experience has brought immense rewards on the human side,” he adds. “I remember feeling quite special because of people’s concern. And I still feel good when they ask how I’m doing.”

Auger has averaged about four or five conversations for each prostate cancer patient with whom he has been hooked up. But it all depends on the individual’s needs. He usually arranges to call after a significant step in the patient’s treatment, such as after consultation with a surgeon.

Most refrain from asking

Auger finds most men want to know why he chose a particular course of treatment among the options available, and what it was like going through it. Some express concerns about the longer-term effects of prostate cancer such as incontinence, although, he says, most men refrain from asking about the effects on sexuality.

“I don’t talk about something unless I’m asked; then I freely share,” he says.

Auger knows how it feels to face the possibility of a life cut short. Although he is cancer-free, his awareness of his own mortality is different now than if he’d never had the disease. With that comes a desire to help others. He has always been involved in volunteer work with organizations such as the Red Cross, Meals on Wheels and the Knights of Columbus, but now he is able to connect with others in deeper ways because of the insight battling cancer has brought him.

“If I get cancer again, I’d want to be on the receiving end of CancerConnection,” he says. “There’s nothing like talking to someone who’s been through it.” IE