As people age, their families become increasingly important to them. But does it make financial or emotional sense for aging parents to pull up stakes and move closer to adult children? There are a number of considerations, and advisors can help senior clients weigh the benefits of living near family vs the disadvantages of seriously disrupting their lives.

There are legitimate emotional reasons for moving, says Peggy Grall, a psychologist in Milton, Ont., who works with people going through life transitions. “As we grow older, we want to pass on our values and traditions to the younger generation, so it’s natural to want to be near children,” she says.

There also may be practical reasons to be near the kids: the older person may need help with transportation or care; an older family member can help with child care and provide stability if adult children are raising families alone or taking on extra work to make ends meet; sharing accommodation may financially benefit both generations.

But moving is not always in seniors’ best interests. It can mean relocating across the country — even around the world. And moving becomes more difficult as people age, leaving behind long-time friends and activities and decades of accumulated possessions.

“If clients say they’re thinking about moving nearer the kids, I tell them to book a flight and pay a visit. And then we’ll talk,” says Grall. If they’re still keen to relocate when they return, she recommends discussing the following issues to ensure they don’t make a move they’ll regret.

> Generation shift. Older clients should acknowledge that they’re not as central to their children as their children are to them, Grall says: “This means acknowledging the generation shift and their dependency on their children. For some people, this can be a big emotional leap.”

Floyd Murphy, a financial planner and president of The Nakamum Group in Vancouver, says clients should be clear about their children’s expectations, especially if the children are encouraging the move. “They may expect Mom or Dad to be a full-time babysitter. Is this what your client wants?”

> Climate. Keep in mind other factors such as climate — will the client be leaving balmy British Columbia for harsh winters in Quebec or Newfoundland? — as well as immigration, tax and insurance matters.

> Family dynamics. Moving close to one child can disrupt family dynamics, Grall says.
“Women often want to be near their daughters, but that may mean seldom seeing sons and their sons’ families.”

> Living arrangements and costs. “Will your client be living with the children or near them?” Grall asks. Occupying a bedroom in an adult child’s home may be the most economical arrangement but it will give the senior the least privacy. And will the senior pay rent, or contribute to bill payments and groceries? Who pays for what should be decided before the move.

A granny flat will provide the senior with more independence, but a basement may have to be renovated. Who will pay for it? If the senior does, he or she should have a legal document drawn up to protect his or her interest in the property if the living arrangement doesn’t work out.

Renting an apartment will provide space and privacy; should the senior decide to return to the old community, he or she won’t have to worry about selling. “But what will paying rent do to the client’s cash flow?”
Murphy asks. “A client who moves from a rural area and rents an apartment in Vancouver or Toronto may find him- or herself in a tight financial situation.”

> Trusted advisors. Relocating usually means giving up trusted advisors. “It will definitely mean giving up family doctors, eye doctors, dentists and lawyers,” Murphy says.
“In some places, there are long waiting lists for doctors and dentists.”

Access to health care can also be an issue in the new location, he says: “Major treatments — such as for cancer and heart problems — are usually a given in major centres. A move may mean travelling 500 kilometres to see a specialist.”

Not to mention the trusted financial advisor:
because of licensing requirements a move can also mean replacing an advisor with whom the senior has had a long-term relationship, he adds.

> Community. For many seniors today, a community of friends — or a church community — often offers more support than their children, says Carrien Jutting, a financial planner and president of Fiscal Wellness Inc./ in Stratford, Ont., and president of the Canadian Association of Pre-Retirement Planners. Local communities usually provide seniors with social opportunities and a chance to help out — both instrumental to a senior’s sense of well-being.