Navigating through a formal dinner can be stressful – even if the food is delicious and there’s an open bar. It’s even harder when you are among clients or bosses who could be assessing your worth as an advisor based on which fork you use.
“When you entrust your money to someone you expect a certain level of propriety in the way they behave,” says Linda Allan, Toronto-based certified management consultant specializing in behaviours in business.
So, some advice to guide you through a faux pas-free function:
> Choose a drink or a snack, but not both
When dinner is preceded by cocktails and hors d’oeuvres in a stand-up reception, you’re going to have to decide between the martini and the shrimp.
That’s because you have to keep your right hand free to shake hands with other guests, Allan says. So, you will be able to hold only a drink or a snack — in your left hand.
Also, go easy. Limit yourself to one drink and two or three hors d’oeuvres.
> Stand up and smile
When introduced to someone, you must always stand up to shake hands.
“North America, there’s no gender in business, ” says Allan. So, when introduced to someone — male or female — stand up, give the person a firm handshake, make eye contact and smile.
> Stow your luggage
Keep personal items off the table during a formal dinner, Allan says. For women, purses should be kept on laps under a napkin. And guys, keep your PDAs clipped to your belt or, if you don’t like the PDA-clipped-to-the-belt look, in a pocket.
All electronic devices should be on “vibrate” or, better still, turned off. Never check your smartphone while at dinner.
> Sure you’re hungry, but leave the bread alone
Don’t touch anything on the table until the meal orders have been taken. The calabrese and pumpernickel that was on the table when you sat down looks tantalizing, but you need to wait until you and your table mates have ordered, says Diane Craig, president Corporate Class Inc. in Toronto.
> Don’t be picky — go with the flow
Wine will almost always be served with dinner. It’s best to leave your persnickety wine preferences at the door.
Sometimes a host will have a pre-set menu with wines paired with specific courses — for example, a white wine with the appetizer and a red with the main. In these cases, do not ask for a specific wine, Allan says. Just go with what is being served.
If you cannot mix wines, ask if there is any white left when the red is making the rounds. Or simply stop at one glass.
> Focus on your neighbours
It’s easy to get distracted when at a big social function. Be polite and focus on the people at your table.
It’s rude to keep looking around the room during a conversation — as if to see if there’s somebody more interesting you could be talking to.
IE