Money may be the last thing people want to discuss when they’re getting married. But encouraging a couple to have that conversation before the big day can save plenty of grief down the road.

“Money is a major source of marital discord,” says Bryson Milley, a financial advisor and associate portfolio manager with the Rogers Group in Vancouver. “Full financial disclosure is essential because secrets tend to cause big problems later.”

Both debt and personal or family wealth can strain a relationship, he adds.

“Family wealth often creates expectations and fears,” Milley says. “The non-wealthy spouse may wonder if they’re bringing enough to the table. And the wealthy spouse’s family may have suspicions and concerns.”

Advisors have a responsibility to raise difficult issues, even if they’re seen as rocking the boat, says Cathie Hurlburt, senior financial planning advisor with Assante Financial Management Ltd. in Vancouver.

“Money discussions sometimes get emotional when people are getting married,” Hurlburt says. “Some advisors may decide it’s not worth the trouble, but they’re really being lazy. They’d rather say: ‘Congratulations, it’s time to buy insurance’.”

Here are some of the issues Hurlburt and Milley suggest you should raise with clients who are about to tie the knot:

> Marriage agreement
“I always talk to couples about marriage agreements,” says Hurlburt. “An agreement may not carry any legal weight but you should have the conversation anyway, especially if the two people involved have unequal resources in terms of savings and debt.”

An agreement that spells out how a couple will handle the financial aspects of their marriage can force the couple to open up about financial issues and prevent conflict down the road.

> Property review
If your client is a parent of one of the newlyweds, it’s wise to conduct a property review.

Hurlburt asks her clients if they lent their son or daughter money to buy a house before their marriage: “If so, they need a written IOU because the house is about to become matrimonial property. Without the IOU, half of [the house] will go to the spouse if the marriage ends.”

> Life insurance
Coverage should be sufficient to cover all debts and ensure the family home is owned outright, plus a $200,000 nest egg per survivor. For a 30-year-old, $1 million of coverage can cost as little as $50 per month.

> Wills
Getting married automatically voids any existing will so newlyweds need a new one.

> Beneficiaries
Update the beneficiaries on all insurance policies and retirement savings plans.

> Wedding costs
Ask who’s paying for the wedding and what it will cost.

“If my clients are the newlyweds, I ask how long it will take to pay it off,” Hurlburt says. “If my client is paying for their child’s wedding, I point out that things can easily get out of control and ask them, ‘will you still take a holiday this year if you’re spending that much?’ I can’t make them do anything but I can put fences around what’s reasonable.”

> Money management
How will the couple share expenses — equally or in proportion to their cash flow? What happens if one partner can’t pay their share?

“There is ultimately no right or wrong way to do things,” says Milley, who tells his clients: “Find a solution that works well for you as a couple and run with it.”

IE