Asking a client for a referral is an important part of your business-building strategy. But popping the question at the wrong time can spoil a relationship, says Matt Anderson, founder of the Referral Authority in Chicago. That’s why it’s important that you carefully consider the timing of a conversation on referrals.

Anderson offers these pointers to help you find the right moment to start the referral conversation:

> Earn the referral
Before broaching the subject of referrals, ask yourself two questions:

  1. “Have I earned the right to ask for a referral?” In other words, have you done something recently to add value to your client’s experience? Or, have you done a particularly good job at solving a problem for this client?
  2. “When do I usually recommend someone?” Put yourself in your client’s shoes. Think about the circumstances under which you would recommend another professional. Would this be the time to make such a recommendation?

> Get some feedback
If you are not sure whether the right moment to introduce the topic of referrals has arrived, ask the client for feedback.

How does your client feel about the service you provide? By asking for feedback, you can discover whether a client is satisfied with your business and is enthusiastic enough that he or she would be willing to refer you.

In soliciting feedback, ask open-ended questions such as:
“What’s been most valuable to you about the work that we’ve done?”
“What’s been the most useful?”

> Don’t rush
Being too eager in asking for referrals can be off-putting to clients. Be sure to give clients some space.

Newer advisors often make the mistake of asking clients for referrals too soon in the relationship and too often, Anderson says. Instead, wait until you’ve built a rapport with your client before broaching the subject.

> Rate your rapport
Assess your relationships with your clients.

Take a look at your list of clients, Anderson says. On a scale of one to 10, rank the “feel-good factor” of each relationship. Rank how positively you regard your interactions with that client.

The higher a client ranks on the “feel-good factor,” the better the chance of receiving a positive response to a referral request.

> Find a positive note
Ask for a referral only if your conversation with the client is positive.

For example, your discussion might become sad or uncomfortable (Anderson once asked a client what his plans were for the weekend, only to learn that the client was having his dog put down). In such cases, it’s best to leave your referral request for another day.