What is your client really telling you?

“Success in sales requires that you observe and understand human behavior,” Kyle says. “Fortunately, anyone can learn to do it. It takes keen observation of the subtle signs your prospects and clients give off, a willingness to pay attention and lots of practice.”

You must read non-verbal cues carefully, Kyle adds, because, unlike verbal communication, body language can be quite abstract.

“Body language should influence our understanding of the person’s feelings, rather than dictating it,” Kyle says.

For example, don’t assume that someone who is looking out the window is ignoring you. He or she might just be distracted momentarily. On the other hand, such behaviour might indicate that you’ve been talking too long. To find out, ask the person if he or she has any questions about the discussion.

Kyle offers the following body language signals and what they may mean, to help you understand your clients and prospects:

> Limited or no eye contact
That a person is avoiding eye contact may not be a good sign, but don’t jump to conclusions. The person could be lying, disinterested, uncomfortable or distracted. It can also indicate low self-esteem.

When people can’t express their honest feelings, Kyle says, they usually are unable to hold eye contact. Alternatively, when you enter someone’s personal space, a natural response is to look away.

“If someone isn’t making eye contact with you,” Kyle says, “use open-ended questions to try to engage them.”

> Arm and torso movements
Closed-off posture, with shoulders hunched forward, and arms crossed, as well as fidgeting or tapping fingers usually mean a close-minded attitude.

An open posture suggests an open or willing attitude. When negative signs appear, take a break and ask what the person is thinking.

Allan Pease, president of Pease International in Queensland, Australia and author of The Definitive Book of Body Language, says research shows that we retain 40% less information when our arms are crossed than when they’re uncrossed.

In such cases, Pease suggests, try getting the person doing something that will make them uncross their arms. Ask the person to write something, hand them something or get them tea or coffee.

> Mirroring
The most effective way to establish rapport with a client or prospect is to utilize mirroring, a technique by which you observe a person’s behaviour and then subtly act the same way.

If the person leans back in the chair, you lean back. If she crosses her legs, you cross your legs. Your goal is to get the person to feel comfortable with you so she will be open to what you say.

Mirroring should be subtle, Pease says, so wait a few seconds before shifting your body to match your prospect.

“At first it may feel phony, but stick with it,” Pease says. “Handled properly, people won’t know what you’re up to and it can become second nature to you.”

This is the second article in a two-part series on body language.