Being persuasive is often confused with being “pushy.” Understanding the difference is crucial to having successful interactions with your clients.

“People feel we’re being pushy when we’re promoting our agenda, not theirs,” says Norm Trainor, president and CEO of the Covenant Group in Toronto. “When we make [clients] the centre of the experience, they rarely feel that we’re being overly aggressive.”

Here are three ways to appeal to clients and make them the centre of the experience:

1. Tell a story
When you want to convince a client of the value of a product, service or financial planning strategy, remember that your reasoning must be logical, but it also should appeal to the client’s emotions.

You can often create emotional appeal, Trainor says, by communicating a narrative that will help prove to the client that you can help him or her avoid negative consequences.

Say, for example, you’re trying to convince your client’s 20-year-old daughter of the importance of saving and investing. If you approach the issue from the usual retirement angle, you risk losing her attention. But if you relate to her eagerness to move out of her parents’ home, she is more likely to see more immediate benefits of budgeting and saving.

2. Listen intently
People often forget that listening is a process of mutual engagement and understanding.

“Often when we’re listening,” Trainor says, “we’re just waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can make our point.”

However, making your case will be a lot easier if you can grasp what your client thinks and feels about a particular subject. These thoughts and feelings comes across in his or her words as well as body language, tone of voice and even changes in skin tone.

Maybe you and a client are discussing his risk tolerance. You know that if you continue the current course of risk-free investing, your client will never reach his retirement goals. However, your client is pacing nervously in your office and referring to losses he suffered during the financial crisis of 2008-09.

If you begin to talk about a great group of mutual funds, your client will know that you are not focusing on the true problem. You must understand and acknowledge his fear before talking about present market conditions.

3. Create a memorable experience
“We meet scores of people every day and have scores of conversations,” Trainor says. “Only a small number of them are memorable.”

So, explaining a concept or a proposition in a way that creates impact will distinguish you from other advisors.

Use what comes naturally to you to provide this experience. Maybe you find your clients respond well to visuals; if so, explain concepts through the use of aids such as charts, graphs and pictures. Or, you might use self-deprecating humour to make yourself more approachable and encourage your clients to ask you questions; for example, admitting you can barely turn on your television without calling your teenager for help.

The most persuasive advisors, Trainor says, will create a situation in which clients walk away feeling better about themselves.

This is the second instalment in a two-part series on persuasion.