Canadians in the “sandwich” generation who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children say they can handle this family dynamic, but the demands of eldercare are taking a toll, a recent study suggests.
The most recent health survey conducted by Lévis, Que.-based Desjardins Financial Security, released in early October, has found that more than 90% of respondents in the sandwich generation said they are physically and psychologically healthy, and more than 70% thought their personal finances are in good or better condition.
However, when looking at the impact that eldercare has had on their lives, more than 60% of sandwich generation respondents said they were mentally and physically affected by the assistance they provide to their parents on a daily basis.
Toronto eldercare expert Bart Mindszenthy, who acted as a consultant to DFS on the survey, says these contrasting results show a lack of awareness — or even an overconfidence — among those in this position.
“I think the reality is people don’t know how they truly are. No one’s been here before. This is new ground,” he says. “The bottom line is that they’re not prepared.”
Previous DFS research has shown that less than 20% of the sandwich generation work with their parents to develop an eldercare plan, while more than half in this position did not have a plan in place to deal with the costs related to taking care of their aging parents.
“I think there’s a sense of underestimation on the financial costs they will be facing, as well as the time commitment this will take later on,” says Kathryn Del Greco, a financial advisor with TD Waterhouse Private Investment Advice in Toronto who’s seeing more baby boomer clients becoming frustrated with the challenges of finding and affording an eldercare facility or home-care support for their aging parents.
Co-author of the book Parenting Your Parents, which gives advice to baby boomers on what they will face as their parents become more dependent, Mindszenthy says boomers need to be aware that it can cost from $2,000 a month for part-time eldercare up to $6,000 a month for around-the-clock support.
“If there’s ever been a job [for advisors], it’s to help these people in the sandwich generation understand the reality of what they’re about to get into,” he says, “and to encourage them to plan.”
Adds Del Greco: “Our job [as advisors] is to be a sounding board to the events that are shaping the client’s life and to look for and help identify any potential upheaval that could happen to them from a financial perspective.”
“That’s the importance of planning,” Mindszenthy says. “Look for a window of time in which you can set this up and get things going, and reduce the pressure on yourself and [your clients].”
However, if a plan is not developed in time — and your client’s parent’s health suddenly deteriorates — you need to be sensitive to what this will do to your client.
“That’s what I’m seeing more of — the frustration of finding availability in the type of home they think their parents would be comfortable in and managing the expectations of the parent,” Del Greco says. “There’s a lot of emotional turmoil in dealing with their parents at that stage.”
You also can help alleviate this pressure by ensuring your clients have set up retirement and eldercare plans of their own, says Del Greco, adding that this will also help your clients rest easy knowing that, at the very least, they have their own financial houses in order.
“The more organized they are, and the better their own personal financial affairs are taken care of,” she adds, “the more worry you can take off their shoulders and the better off your relationship with the client could be.” IE