I had thought the story that airlines were considering charging fat passengers higher fares than for normal-sized people was a joke. Because the heavier a plane is, the more fuel it burns. And that costs money. Then, I heard this story reported in several places.

So, I set out into my community to ask questions; to find out if those of us in the shadow of obesity might be looking at extra costs. My first interview was with Peter at the somewhat expensive restaurant on Main Street. Here’s what he said: “It’s simple. We do 100 settings a night. If we get a table or two of large people, they take up more space. Likely, they make a big enough crowd that we can’t use at least one table. Maybe two.

“That means we are missing revenue from four to eight diners,” he adds. “And there goes our profit margin. That’s why we make it very clear in the small print on our menu that people weighing over 260 pounds must add 10% to the cost of meals. Plus a mandatory 20% minimum tip.”

“But, surely,” I said, “fat people must eat more.”

“Sure, they do,” said Peter, “but they do it in the privacy of their own home. There are very few public gluttons.”

Next, I decided to try my fitness centre. I thought they would be sympathetic to the obese. “Of course, we have added surcharges for fatties,” said the pert young woman (pert and not fat) at the reception desk. “I mean, think of the wear and tear on our machines; the wearing out of the gears on the treadmills.

“And then there is our swimming pool,” she added. “It’s a safety measure. We need stronger lifeguards at fat time. A normal lifeguard can nudge a fat person over to the pool deck, but it takes a lot of lifting power to haul them out. Large people displace more water and splash it into the gutter and down the drains. And that costs money.”

Disquieting information. Where else might fat people have problems?

I got on the phone and called my closest subway. “Indeedy do,” said the subway man. “Fat turnstiles are almost mandatory. And once you have seen a fat jam at rush hour, you will easily see why. I think fat people will gladly pay an extra 50¢ so they can slide onto the platform without embarrassment. We’ll probably set the bar a 240 pounds. Maybe 260.

“We are thinking of calling these ‘elite access’ turnstiles,” he said. “Sounds better than ‘fat.’ Our problem now is to set embedded scales at all turnstiles so that if a fat person tries to get through the regular turnstile, their weight will set off an alarm. And they also are likely to get stuck.”

Surely there must be an upside to this bias against fat. So, I went on my computer and found that developers are very close to opening the very first fat persons’ supermarket. Not just wide aisles and shelves, where you don’t have to bend; but reinforced shopping carts, possibly motorized.

Best of all, no thin people will be allowed entry. The developers plan automatic doors that open only when the would-be shopper weighs in at least 280 pounds. Or perhaps 300. In addition, the parking lot will have extra-wide spaces.

Outside of that, my research paints a grim picture for those of us who eat bacon double cheeseburgers and super-size fries. The same principle that applies to airlines also applies to toll roads, for example. That is, extra weight costs extra money and the fat person must pay.

It is easy to make this principle work on any venue that requires seats, such as theatres and buses and concert halls. It was thought this selective procedure could even apply to churches, but most congregations would happily take whomever they could get these days.

Paul Rush is five feet, eight inches tall and weighs 187 pounds. He calls himself “stocky.” The last off-the-rack suit he bought was described as “executive stout.” Since then, he patronizes only bespoke tailors.

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