Being a big brother or big sister has been an emotionally rewarding experience — as well as a ton of fun — for Jennifer Barr and David Heden.
Barr, 45, is a vice president and associate portfolio manager with a large national brokerage firm in Toronto. She is just entering her fourth year as Big Sister to Brianna, who has just turned 13. “She’s my sister,” says Barr. “I can’t imagine not having her around, and Brianna has someone to rely on and back her up. It’s a lifetime bond. She’s a cool kid.”
Heden, 29, is hedge fund manager with K2 & Associates Investment Management Inc. in Toronto. He has a longer history with the program: not only has Heden been a Big Brother to 13-year-old Lucas since the latter was seven years old, but Heden became a Little Brother himself when he was six years old, after the death of his father.
“Because I was a Little Brother, this organization has been close to my heart,” Heden says. “I know how much it helped me and what I got out of it. How could I not return the favour to another young boy?”
Meanwhile, Barr had always admired the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Canada (BBBST) organization and felt that if she could make a difference in the life of just one child, it would be worth it. Most of the youth in the program come from single-parent families and many are from low-income neighbourhoods.
“There are some wonderful kids in tough situations,” Barr says. For instance, her Little Sister, Brianna, comes from a family headed by a single mother who has health issues that prevent her from working. Brianna’s older brother had previously had a positive experience with a Big Brother, and her mother thought a Big Sister would be good for Brianna.
The goal is for a Big Brother or a Big Sister to spend four hours with his/her Little Brother or Little Sister every two weeks, or two hours every week, but there is flexibility. Says Barr: “Brianna has her life, her friends and parties that come up. There’s a lot of texting that happens.”
Brianna is captain of her school’s volleyball team and also likes track and hurdles. Her schoolwork has improved since she connected with a tutor through the BBBST’s Toronto chapter.
Barr has engaged in a variety of activities with Brianna, including trips to the Royal Ontario Museum, music concerts, skating and overnight trips to Barr’s parents’ farm outside Toronto. Sometimes, Barr and Brianna simply go for walks. Brianna has a strong bond with Barr’s dog, an affectionate löwchen. Barr has also taken Brianna to the office on Take a Kid to Work Day.
At one time, Brianna was talking about becoming a lawyer, as she liked being an arbitrator in situations among friends, but lately, she’s developed an interest in being a chef and has been cooking at home, Barr says: “She’s a bright, happy young girl. She’s confident, questioning, smart and works hard at school.”@page_break@Heden attributes his career as a hedge fund manager to the influence of his Big Brother, Peter Sherk, who was an energy commodities trader in Toronto when Heden was young; Sherk is now a senior trader with Morgan Stanley & Co. Inc. in New York.
Heden still has a relationship with Sherk, and sometimes the two men get together with Lucas when Sherk visits Toronto. In turn, Lucas is following in his Big Brother’s footsteps as well, taking an interest in the financial services industry. Lucas participates in his school’s stock market challenge and comes to Heden’s office to talk to his colleagues about stock picks.
“I loved talking stocks and investing with Peter, and he was clearly the catalyst for my career,” says Heden of his former Big Brother. “I remember him showing me how you could trade online, and it’s now interesting to see Lucas develop the same passion.”
Heden also likes to partake in fun activities with Lucas and has spent time skiing, camping, going to the cottage or simply building a fence in the backyard. Heden is married with a 10-month old daughter and, sometimes, he and Lucas simply watch a football game together and do some babysitting.
“Sometimes, we just do something casual like take in a movie or grab a burger,” Heden says. “But we’ve also been involved in bigger projects, such as building a soapbox [racer] and entering the racing derby.”
Heden says that when he first became involved with Lucas, the boy was shy, lacked confidence and didn’t have a lot of friends. Now, he is captain of his hockey team and was recently awarded a full academic scholarship to attend Upper Canada College, a prestigious private school in Toronto.
“We see each other regularly, but Lucas is busier than I am these days,” Heden says. “He has five hockey games a week.”
Heden has been impressed by Lucas’s spirit of generosity and says Lucas was one of the first people to visit when Heden’s daughter was born.
“Lucas comes over and offers to walk the dog, program the computer and do other things to help,” Heden says. “He’s super easy-going, and it’s wonderful to see him doing so well.”
Playing hockey was a turning point for Lucas, Heden says, and the boy’s confidence has increased as he developed his abilities in the sport and made friends. Now, Heden sees Lucas developing leadership skills and ambition.
Says Heden: “Lucas has big aspirations and is realizing that if he works hard, he can broaden the opportunities that are available to him.” IE
Family ties for kids without
The changes in a child who is linked up with a Big Brother or Sister can be remarkable. Financial services professionals Jennifer Barr and David Heden talk about the rewards
- By: Jade Hemeon
- February 22, 2011 November 6, 2019
- 13:11